Ever since my Nanna went into hospital in September 2013, something inside me changed.
My outer self no longer seemed important and my inner self took over.
As we watched her slip away, I could feel part of me slipping sway too and when she passed on 28th December 2013 part of my soul went with her.
I felt like I had lost my presence.
My enthusiasm for all things I loved disappeared.
I wanted to hide.
No matter how hard I tried to put my mind to something, things kept going wrong or I just couldn't muster the effort to finish it.
My mental state drifted between angry, sad, depressed, numb and empty.
I tried to bury it all and continue living in normality but it would just end up popping back up and ruining things.
I've been on a long emotional journey since then and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm coming back.
A few weeks ago I had a breakthrough. I told myself that this didn't need to be the way. I can miss my Nanna and grieve for her loss without loosing myself in the process. So I decided it was about time to accept it and move on in an upwards direction!
I'm enjoying baking and sewing again.
I'm thinking about writing again.
I'm feeling like I can maintain a social media presence again and maybe let people back in to my life.
As part of that I'm hoping to start writing here regularly again and get my baking blog going too.
Thanks for reading.
Chow For Now
JenStar x
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